What things did I do, Lord, to make you so mad?
My life seems so empty, my heart feels so sad.
I know that I\'m a sinner of yesterday, today and tomorrow.
For that, am I sentenced to a life full of sorrow?
For a while, God, things were going so good.
Life was unfolding just as it should.
My family and health were all on good track,
Oh how I wish there was some way to go back,
to a time when my wife was at my side,
and my kids were still innocent and bright eyed.
When cancer was something only other people had,
I really don\'t know how things got this bad.
Now, I ask for forgiveness each time that I pray,
and for you to restore the things that were taken away.
But then I open my eyes and all is the same.
Oh God, I\'m so tired of playing this lonely game.
You say that with faith the size of a mustard seed
I could move a mountain if that was the need,
Well, surely the fact that I talk to you at all,
when it seems I might as well be talking to the wall,
is proof enough that my faith is real,
so why don\'t you answer me God, what\'s the deal?
Oh never mind, I\'ve had all I can take.
I\'m going to sleep now, I just can\'t stay awake.
Fast forward a year, and I find this unfinished note.
In fact, I had forgotten the stuff that I wrote.
It appeared one evening while reading the Word,
and as I read it I thought \"Oh, how absurd\"!
That night that I thought that I talked to the wall,
I now know, God, that you heard it all.
You heard me confess, you heard me complain,
You knew of my sadness, you knew of my pain,
and, like a Father, who grieves for his wayward son,
I know that you too wanted my mess undone.
But there was purpose in your almighty plan,
and I now see, to the extent that I can,
that I needed a mirror in which to gaze,
to be more humble and more patient in my ways.
I needed to trust you, I needed to grow,
it\'s now so obvious that you reap what you sow.
Oh Lord, don\'t let me forget what I\'ve learned,
and help me restore some bridges that I burned.
Thank you, God, for all that you do,
for loving me even when I had given up on you
for the cure of my cancer, for the return of my wife,
For the sacrifice you made so that I could have eternal life.