Darkness
It’s in the darkness that I see my deepest thoughts,
The desires setting fire
Creating a path that leads the way
Fear
Breathing getting heavy
Asphyxiating
Taking a step forward
No
Take two steps back!
No
Move forward!
Three steps back
Breathe
Calm yourself
No
Love yourself
No
I said love yourself
Love that little girl
With the innocent eyes
No
Broken
There is nothing
No
No hope
Breathe
I said breathe
My body lets me down
Broken
I let me down
Sunshine
No
Go away
There is no place for you here
The sun doesn’t belong here
Breathe
No
Suffocate
Yes, I said suffocate yourself
Let the darkness in
Accept it
Let it in
No
I said no
I do not trust the light
The light does not belong
The light does not belong here
Breathe God damn it!
No
I said no
Please
Let the light in
Let it in
Feel it
Touch it
No do not touch
It burns
I do not want to burn
Let it
No
I am a force
I am superwoman
Let it in
How?
I do not know how
Hesitant
Breathe
No
Desire
Pain
Lust
Craving
Craving something
Someone
It lingers
In my mind it stays
For a little while
But then gravity
Like a demon
Sh…
Do not use that word
Like a demon
Pulls me down
Like gravity
No
You cannot defy gravity
My thoughts…
My darkest thoughts
I embrace
I cannot let them go
Breathe
No
Broken
No
No
No
Empty
Like an empty space
A void
A black hole
A tiny spec
Too far to reach
I cannot reach
Please
It is too far
Too far
My legs won’t move
Move!
No
Stay
Stay with me
The darkness
My darkest thoughts
Let them
Let them
I am yours
Breathe
No
There is no space
No space in my lungs
Poisoned
Addicted
Addicted to the darkness
My thoughts
I embrace
I accept
And so, in the darkness
On my fiery path
My path
One direction
Only one
Set on fire
It burns
It consumes
It claims
No
It claims my soul
It is black
Just like the darkness
It lingers
Smells so sweet
Because the darkness is the only thing
Yes
Yes
The only thing that belongs to me
It will stay
Never abandon
No
Never
It stays
And lingers
Sweetly
Oh, how sweet
Lingers
Like a lover’s touch
On my skin
And it devours
Yes
It devours
All of me.