A day with you is painful.
I avoid you like spiders and oatmeal.
I find you so disdainful.
Your voice is grating.
\"A penny for your thoughts\", you screech.\"
Your demise is what I\'m contemplating.
I reply, \"Can I borrow your bat?\"
You look alarmed.
\"Why would you want that?\"
Never mind I say.
I could hear the audience snicker.
Could you just go away?
But you never do.
You just sit there breathing,
like you don\'t have a clue.
I clench my teeth when you start to squawk,
and I lose it and scream, \"Close your mouth when you talk!\"
Dr. Phil intervenes,
while I glare at you,
he says some things.
But all I hear is the part where he says,
\"Some marriages are beyond repair.
I can help you handle the sadness and despair.\"
I can\'t wipe the smile from my face,
as you sob in front of everyone in this place.
And that\'s when it occurs to me, and I blurt out loud, \"Why can\'t they send you to another planet.\"
Dr. Phil begins to lecture, \"Now Janet,\"
But I take off my mic, climb down from my chair,
And I\'m out of there.