all I ever wanted was to be free
but for some unknown for me reason
my body ached when I got out
and I know I don\'t want to come back
but something makes me so tied to them
even the most harmful words
and toughest fights
didn\'t cut the cords
I sit in the kitchen
in a house that\'s not mine
trying to remember why I miss
home that was so cruel
that I never wanted to call it home
why does it feel wrong to have my own pan?
I don\'t want it
I want the crusty one
that my mum kept since xv century
I always wanted to have my own room
I have one now and its so empty
what is wrong with me
do I miss the screaming
or the fear to fall asleep
maybe it became a part of me
that I can\'t escape
I still hear muffled sobs
that were making me shiver
that had made me believe
nobody else cries for real
except her
maybe I made mistake
trying to find peace
maybe I should go back
since I haven\'t found it anyway
I\'m spiralling while pancakes burn
and I don\'t want to go back
why do they still make me hold my breath