I am adrift in a sea with no end
The tides and waves rush in, in a way no soul can comprehend
It floods my being
Water in barging, tearing, claiming any and everything
My essence drifts on the waters
I know of everything
I am nothing
Everything and nothing consumes me
My thoughts scatter and arrange as the constellations do
Part of me is here and part of me is there
Within in the waves
Within stars
I cannot tell how far i’ve come or how far I will go
Scars appear and remind me of who I am
What I should be
The storm howls and ravages my being
Everything I was, am, want to be
Is left barren, desolate
Sights
Sounds
Drifting in leave no impression
Worry kisses my mind but is swept away
I am gutted left for the sun
The heat rages in and warms
Sun, music, life
Breezes in
Smiles lift the darkness in me
Flowers explode into stars
Sweetness tickles the wounds
Vibrance fills me
I am everything
I know nothing
My flames burn and touch those around me
They call me kind
Blessed
A light
I shine and blind
I grow and become
I encompass the sun and dance with the breeze
In the distance the sea stirs
Whispers tease my mind
Fear
Dread
Anxiety
Curdle my stomach
I am unwanted
Not of necessity
Left for forgotten
How could a thing such as I
Be loved?
Cared for?
Desired?
I am a thorn
I am a poison
Seeping slowly
Destroying the beauty
Anxiety digs claws
Uncertainty is my parasite
All the courage
Confidence
Surety
Is sucked away
An empty shell
Is how I present
One goal the horridity has
Cause damage
It shreds and rips
I am pieces
Fractures of a person
Who no matter how she may try
Shall never be whole
A shattered mirror is
My reflection
Anger whips into a torrent
Ugly words and vivid feelings
Clenched fists and whispered wrath
Red swims before me
Spontaneous combustion feels as though it will
Claim me
Insults are outwardly thrusted
Sharp pieces of shrapnel
Aimed at myself
Those around me
My fury has no direction
Tugging within growls for control
Emotions are frenzied
The thunder booms
And again the waters hit
This cycle continues
Sea and sun
Tearing and building
Loving and hating
Hurting and healing
So many times until finally
Silence
I stare into the black abyss
It caresses my face and beckons
I lean towards
Pain
Agony
Red blooms
More marks on my skin
My hope cries out
Begging
Pleading
My sun clutching life
My sea ripping it away
Hands grabbing
Voices pleaing
Embraces
Safe
Drops falling
Blue wracks my body
Aching caves my chest
Numb and unfeeling
Hollow words ring
No meaning is present
Fog fills my thoughts
Lost and adrift in dark waters
Compass needles spin with no direction
My feet find ground
The storms clear and there
My sun awaits
The rays rove over me
Saving
Cleansing
Direction guides me
Peace settles within
The storm stays at bay
For a time
But again they come
Till I am
Lost and found till
Everything I know is
Thrown to the wind till
Darkness consumes till
Light returns and fixes till
I know all but know none till
My life is a whirlpool and
I see no way out till
I am adrift unsure of which direction to go till
All I was, am, want to be is out of proportion till
I find meaning
So vast and deep no
Words could ever touch upon
The depth, no explanation
Could or would do Justice till
I am a mangled mess torn
Between what I understand and
What I perceive
My actions or words feel
Weightless, without impact
No hearts comprehend my visions
No mind can handle my unsureness
Tremors and quakes rock my foundation
Compass arrows point but I
Have lost footing
These otherworldly idealisms plague me till
Till….
There are suns and storms
Breezes and abysses
Life and death
Choice and freedom
Hurt and consequence
All of this swirls enclosed within
Until I am
Everything and nothing
Όλα και Τίποτα δύο (Everything and Nothing Part Two)
I battle and fight
For what I know must be right
Unrelentingly
I will not give in
I grit my teeth and propel myself forward
The waters will not consume
The sun will shine
Even if shade comes
Even if the waters fall
I must
Cannot see any other way
Have to keep
Must never stop
Going
The fire lights in my soul
The inferno blazes and swallows
It climbs and climbs
Till it’s tendrils drift out
It cannot
Will not be contained
I am something
I am remade
My soul has yet to find a direction
But the flames burn on
I know not what to do
But the sparks within
Cry
They will not be silenced
The pain and scars are not for nothing
The hurt and feelings of abandon
Are not worthless
My wings spread
Tears glisten paths down my face
I will not
Will never
Be silenced
I will fight for me
The ones I love
The ones I know not
I will rage and show the disbelievers
The demons in my mind
The thorns in my side
That I am something
More
More than they could comprehend
More than they could control
I am otherworldly
An entity I thrive alone
But adore unity
Music fills my soul and stitches
But also is there to sob with
Hopes, Dreams and Wonder
Are my lyrics
Golden exudes from the hidden lights inside
A strong gust of joy and comfort
Love and compassion
A glowing paradise
I surround myself with people
Because although solitude is my language
Companionship is my song
I will Love
Kindness will be my crown
Compassion and hope
Will be my battle cry
Understanding and empathy
Will be my weapons
Love that overwhelms will be
My foundation
Caring for others will be
My cavalry
I may drift into that sea but
I will emerge
Kinder
Stronger
Wiser
And I will be
Nothing Everything Me