Chris Duffy

Modern Times

Modern Times.

 

Living in the modern world is not my cup of tea

.Progress was supposed to liberate us, supposed to set us free

It seems you’re left to sail your craft, to paddle your own canoe

No matter how you try, no matter what you do,

 

Online shopping every week beats competing with the throng.

Till a  message on the web says “ You’ve got your password wrong! “

“ And would you like another go to reset one more time?”

Says some young chap with acne, somewhere down the line.

 

You begin to think of some key phrase that enigma couldn’t crack.

But everytime you enter it, some smart arse sends it back.

He’s probably about eight years old and he’s hacking your  machine.

Sending obscure messages, “Lord knows what they mean.”

 

Technology is not for me I’m just a simple chap

If you want to buy a cheese burger you have to have an app

Tap your card and off you go out of the shop you dash.

What was wrong with conversation, listening and cash?

 

No room for individuals; they make sure one size fits.

You can’t just buy a burger, it has to come with chips.

“ And would you lIke it bigger for an extra thirty P?”

“ Chance would be a fine thing !”the misses said to me

.



Supermarket shopping,we do it for ourselves.

We scan and pack entirely on our own

We fight a war with robot tills,do everything but stack the shelves.

They’ve cut their workforce right down to the bone.



Our next door neighbour “Tommy”.

So good with pack and scanners

So cool under pressure always has good manners.

Promoted to Store Manager right there on the spot

He’d only called in Tesco to do his weekly shop.





So noble at the turnstile, progressive in the queue.

They bestowed on him a badge emblazoned NVQ.

Old Tommy packed his goods away efficiently and slick

We think that NVQ means that he was not very quick.




I lost my wind up wristwatch.

It just fell off my wrist.

I was on my way back from the pub.

Wobbly and ……. Drunk!

 

You can’t just get one like your old watch.

You must have one that’s smart.

It records your bodily functions 

Warns you when you …… fart !




Like cattle to the slaughter,we follow like we ought’ta

Instructions from computers and machines.

They organise our life and even help us find a wife.

To folk like me, that’s just the way it seems

 

I’m just an old- old fuddy duddy. I’m just a simple man.

I don\'t have time for gigabytes, e-mailing and spam. 

Surviving in the modern world not wishing  to comply.

Living in the past before hip hop and WIFI