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How does one lose a best friend?

How does one lose a best friend?

How am I supposed to rub your name

off my list

if I’d written it in pen?

Is it like cutting off a limb?

You cut it off just for the sake of it

You—who thought of everything,

who used to think circles around my thoughts—

didn’t think about my phantom pains

My nervous system is used to your presence, don’t you understand;

it reminds me every now and then.

 

Your face was an open book once

I could see the thoughts

dancing around beneath the surface

like that time

we waltzed in the empty basement

Why did you close it?

Now the Sun doesn’t shine through, it reflects off a hard surface.

It put a up a majestic fight

that afternoon in the park

it stained the sky with fire

in its final, desperate throes

before it went under.

I wonder

if it ever crossed your mind

to fight like that.

Or even

to just

stay