What my anxiety feels like
It feels like the deep thrumming of my heart
in my chest
Like a balloon of blood
Pumping and filling with no escape
Threatening to fill my rib cage
And burst on the sharp knot in my stomach
What my survival instinct freeze feels like
It’s my mother’s hands
One hand
applying pressure to my throat
I can feel the space
between her index finger and thumb
dig into my vocal chords
What my depression feels like
It’s the weight of my dad
On my back
Fighting me for my depressive secrets
On a device that attaches me to the world
Watching it be thrown away
Just like my self destructive actions they dismiss
What my ptsd feels like
I don’t even know if I have it
But if I did
It would feel like my nightmares every night
And his breath on my neck
Wandering unwelcome hands
The vibrations of his words in my ears