I\'ve made my decision
I feel affixed finally
I am no longer adrift
Yet....
I still see wisps
Tales of the could be\'s
Of the maybes
They begin to plague me
Did I what was right?
Is this path the right one?
Never guess
Or second guess
It will drive you mad
We\'re all mad here already
So how do I know
I\'m not mistaking
How do I know
I am not doing the something
I should not
I felt as if I was seeing clearly
For I thought
The camera I viewed life through was clean
But was it?
Do I understand?
I need my own council
I have none to give though
Every mirror I look into
Holds no answers
Every pair of eyes I dive into
I emerge
Just as confused
If not more
Than before
Where does this road go
When will it end
I decisive
But indecisive
I am not sure-footed
I am a spinning compass
No rain clouds accompany me
This time
Stop the spinning
stop
the
spinning
I need off this
Carousel of unknowing
Lead me to a place
Of knowledge
Of surety
For mine is not unto me
A shroud of grey surrounds me
The fog obscures all
Thin tendrils stroking my cheeks
Watching
Waiting
I see no way out
Show me light
Where is the well worn path
Or even the not worn one
I see no such way
They have become overgrown
I am having to hack my way through
But how do I know this is the proper path
I always believed
In making your own way
That is easier said than done
What happens after you?
Am I to be mad
You are soon to depart
I feel no attachment
Yet...
Still need you
Well perhaps not need
But for some reason
In my mind I do
You are the one I love
However
We are not stardust collaboraters
Our souls do not entwine
At least I shall tell myself that until I believe it
Emotions are finnicky
Can be easily tricked
I feel fooled
Not once
Twice
Perhaps more than three
Anything you want you could get from me
I refuse to show you the
Hold you have over me
I am confounded
By it
How could you exact such power
Over a soul such as mine
Determined
Driving
Clarifying
Yet...
You have managed to ensnare
Do not even realize it
Which happens to be in my luck
For if you did
I tremble to know
The consequences
I feel half mad
Half sane
Am I to be crazy then
Now?
When you depart
How shall I connect
Figure out the numbers
Chart out the stars
Oh dear one
Please tell me
What happens after you?