Nothing really matters

now that I have learned

not to be ever an option

of anybody.

After so long I liked a guy.

A wrong guy

and I know it in my senses,

knowing we don\'t hold a future

but what do I do?

He makes me smile, blush,

my heart flutter like no one ever did

I like the way he puts his words

together.

Though he says,

he wants to give this a try.

I know he is a fuckboy,

so, I don\'t want to.

I know I will be wounded further more.

So holding on as friends

which I will let go off soon

because for him it\'s just my body

Saying \'NO\' to dates

\'NO\' a response to start something new.

Fear of past repeating

or my wounds worsening

How do I tell him?

This is the best was we can live.