do you think about dying? not the “I’m so tired of living” thoughts but the intrusive thoughts you get after a bender or while dozing off into sleep; unwelcome scenarios of how life would be without you. flashing images of your son growing up without you; images of all the things you cherish not lying around your room because the room you’re in now doesn’t exist anymore.
do you see yourself hovering above the ones you love or would you rather not see the world go on without you?
is it regret?
is it sadness?
jealousy?
do you forget for a moment that you’re still breathing?