Parisab

Apologies

As I’m stirring the froth of my guilt

Now every-time I swipe 

Sitting in a plush club chair of some country club

”Did you see how the man hit and push

her?”

I look with my eyes closed 

hanging myself with the knots in my stomach

I fight, flight, 

as every passerby freezes

we watch you collapse in the blood of your trauma

I’m making kabob and rice for the boys tonight

with a side of guilty comfort

as I swipe the news of your assault

I’m folding the blankets on our beds made 

from the wool of the slaughtered Persian lambs

I hear the breaking of tissue when I bite

into strawberries

“Look away!”, they say, in my nightmares

no boundary will protect us from the invaders of this cursed land 

When I left, I left you a trail of tears, I migrated with a broken heart and behind me the sting from envy of the other traitors who also wanted to leave with every cost imaginable to us and to you 

Don’t look for me, all I have is regret and judgement about your faith

All I have left you is a trail of tears to remind you that you won’t free yourself of the guilt and shame in no fashion of luxury on this side of borders