Richard was homeless
and slept in a small park
just outside St.Andrews cemetery
so he could use the toilets
in the funeral hall
and wash himself.
One day when he returned from there,
he noticed an old lady
carrying heavily on a wreath.
He offered to help her carry it,
but she was suspicious.
One heard so much
about lonely cemeteries and old ladies.
But after looking him up and down,
she gave him the wreath and went ahead.
He followed her
to a marble mausoleum with an iron door
and a brass plate above it with the name McGrath.
She said it was the family mausoleum
and unlocked it.
He handed her the wreath
and discreetly withdrew
to sit on a bench nearby.
After a while she returned and said:
\"Here are the sarcophagi of my husband and his brother,
and soon it will be my home too.
The dead are peaceful company
but they also don\'t like rain and wind.
I left the door unlocked for you.\"