littlegreenbag

Your performance of a lifetime

You have mastered your oldest tricks from your book once again

Hell, I am not even surprised 

You’ve kept surprising me all my life

But now I’m only numb

You’re impressive, to someone maybe

But all I can think about is how used to this shit I already am

 

I’m not sure what are you poisoning me for 

When I did open my heart - all I got back was:

“you are in the wrong”,

“you shouldn’t have done this”,

“you should’ve done that”

 

I have never known encouragement or love from your side the way I thought family does

And I stopped talking

I shut myself up

Because why would I care to hear something that hurts me

 

I keep giving you silent treatment

Because it’s the only way I can stay away from your great performances of a lifetime 

Communication is key - they say

But it doesn’t work like that under these circumstances 

It only adds more anguish to the Circles of Hell

My own personal Hell

 

I hate being home

I hate being home when you’re here

 

You can’t choose your family

You can run away 

But where would I run?