I thought I would’ve left this world differently
But this type of death is most excruciating
Being Alive
Having your scars, regrets, sorrows, pain
Killing you
Ripping you apart
Slowly
Piece by piece
Until you’re nothing
But a dead soul
Drowning in the waves of my thoughts
Being stabbed by the pain and guilt
Being shot at by this so called feeling
Having the chains run straight
Through your skin
Deep, into the scared, tearful, torn
Wounded heart
The thoughts screaming at you
Scolding you
“Why? Why? Why?”
And only to have it answered
With the same reply
You can’t help but question
When shown and given the actions
You can’t help but worry
When given the same reassurance
You can’t help but wait
When have been struck by the feeling
Here I am though
Left in the place where I haven’t been in a long time
But once again,
Left and dropped and discarded
In the place that everyone drops me in when it’s no longer true
Every time, different
But all in all
The same exact person
Who am I to trust anyone
With the flame I entrusted to them
Only for them to blow it out
And leave me with my smoldering flame?
To leave me in the dark once again?
To give me another story?
To end a chapter I once thought never had an ending?
To realize
That they showed me, that me and their life don’t belong
If you shall ever love
Don’t wind up like me
Because only regret, dishonesty, pain, loneliness, and false hope
Are to follow and be your close allies
But all I can tell you
Is that they are much happier without you
And the tears and pain are to follow
But be happy for them
But moving on now
Moving fast
Disappearing from a world that was once so magnificent
Leaving the world you once called home
Saying your goodbyes
Accepting the pain
And ascending
Into the new World
Into the Kingdom
Into the new life
Into Bittersweetness
Into you.