so i started to scrub the sponge onto my skin as roughly as i could
i felt as my soul was contaminated by my own demons
and the more i tried to clean that up
the more that feeling would increase
i was feeling dirty
the feeling of revulsion while watching myself was unbearable
i wanted to feel clean
to feel light
without any weight hovering on me
i wanted to scrub out all my fears,
all of my feelings
but most of all
i was afraid that other people would somehow see me the way i see myself
and little by little
i shut all the doors that were open
i shut down all the possibilities of opening up to someone that wasn’t me
and at the end of the day
all i had left was me
but it wasn’t enough
i wasn’t enough for the life i claimed
so i stayed there
with my reflection on the water
still scrubbing the sponge everywhere
as if i wanted to erase my existence
and everything that went along with it.