I feel so lost
I wanna cry
But I can\'t
I wish I could scream
Let out all my rage
But I can\'t
I hold it in
But 14 years of trauma is a lot
I\'m trynna be cool \'bout it
But I\'m getting desperate
Taking wrong turns
Hurting myself
Bleeding at night
But I don\'t cry
I just let the pain flow
I wish I could speak
But my mouth is paralyzed
My mind whispers & talks what can\'t be said out loud
It\'s driving me crazy not to speak
To not express myself
To say that I hate myself
& anyone who abused of me
Who treated me like an object of pleasure
That I can\'t love anymore
That I\'m too afraid to show emotion
I can\'t stop bleeding
I can\'t tell you what I\'m doing
But my skin shows it
I\'m scattered
I find myself lost in the darkest places
Maybe one day I\'ll escape
But for now, i\'m stuck
For now, I can\'t anymore
I\'m sorry