I stood down below and pondered
my eyes looking up the hills
Thinking if I will be able to say what is in my heart
For fear of not knowing how to say it all
It’s not a fine line I want to let out
It’s an apology I must shout
But why must he frighten me so
even when the need to speak is indeed great
When I breath in deep enough I feel it
The words stuck in my throat, and are choking May there never be any words left unsaid
Since Tomorrow has never been my friend
His kind assurance that he will forever be there, i still believe
Though some days I would doubt
His effort that he put in day in and day out, I did ignore
When throughout the day he worked hard and was worn out
Trying to make things right
he had a dream and hoped that we could have it all
even when he did not have it all
But was able to give courage that was needed
I should have pondered on it more
Judging was easy
it’s how he delivered in the end that changed my tune
It was necessary that I change my notions
Begin to accept the unseen acts of love
I was at sea beside myself with grief
Of the shameless doubts I harbored in mind
My eyes now fit to see the hidden scenes
in fact I should have never whined
I cried to the moon and it didn’t answer
I wanted him to have a breakthrough
Some days his efforts would cut no ice
This time I did understand
Then I would pray for a miracle
to bring forward rain in that season that was dry
and to bless the work of his hands
The lord did answer all my demands
I can only admire his grit that kept him grounded Since fortune only favors the brave
his effort was the greatest gift
To have all the Words in my head but still say nothing is a shame
I can only breath right when I do my part
Before it is too late
And since we live apart.
feels like there’s a mountain in between.
perhaps like the discomfort of the winter cold.
and I am Hoping for the advent season
I want to speak before it’s too late
maybe Start with , “I love you papa”