I stood down below and pondered
my eyes looking up the hills
Thinking if I will be able to say what is in my heart
For fear of not knowing how to say it all
It’s not a fine line I want to let out
It’s an apology for being a nuisance and a vote of thanks
But why must he frighten me so
even when the need to speak is indeed great
When I breath in deep enough I feel it
The words stuck in my throat, they are choking May there never be any words left unsaid
Since Tomorrow has never been my friend
His kind assurance that he will forever be there, i still believe
Though some days I would doubt
His efforts I did ignore
Meanwhile Behind the scenes he would work tirelessly
Trying to make things right
he had a dream that we could have it all
even when he may not have it all
to be able to give the whole lot that was needed
I should have pondered on it more
Judging was easy
it’s how he delivered in the end that changed my tune
It was necessary that I change my notions
Begin to accept the unseen acts of love
I was at sea beside myself with grief
Of the shameless doubts I harbored in mind
My eyes now fit to see the hidden scenes
i grew up, the world didn’t look the same
The single difference, made me appreciate what I had looked down on
I cried to the moon and it didn’t answer
Wanting him to have a breakthrough
Some days his efforts would cut no ice
This time I did understand
I turned to heaven on most days to ask for a miracle
to bring forward rain in that season that was dry
and to bless all the work of his hands
The lord did grant that miracle
My life changed, though bit by bit
And For a moment when I stop and look back at how far we’ve come
I can only admire his grit that kept him grounded Since fortune only favors the brave
his effort was the greatest gift
To have all the Words moving in my head but still locked up inside, is a shame
I can only breath right when I do my part
Before it is too late
We live apart, feels like there’s a mountain in between
I have not seen his face, nor heard his voice in a while
Some disagreement that later happened
Feels now like the discomfort of the winter cold Now Hoping for the advent season
I want to speak before it’s too late
maybe Start with , “I love you papa”
I just live with the dream of someday climbing that mountain between us