You out here…faking dignity
acting mortified
When you was the one
Who caused this party
Showing up with all your sides
Can\'t let the new ones
See you
for who you really are
It is hard to tell the difference between
real and fake
But eat the crumbs you feed them
Before you suck them bone dry
None of this was my fault
You was like this from age 5
Your gram prayed and worried
That you would never be the man she knew you were on the inside
It probably killed her knowing she could do nothing to protect all the women from you
Or make you better than the abusive men
Who were all she ever knew
But I promise I will tell her one day
that you never once cried
You will never sacrifice
Your freedom
Your ego
Your time
Or your need for random females to feed your tiny self esteem
You write about pain like you understand
But that is what you cause others
why can\'t you comprehend?
Enjoy the silence and every pain I felt
All the hurt I shared with you
You made me regret
Telling me it was all my fault
Evil words
Out of a mouth that I loved so much you will never understand
I guess i was all to blame
So much shame
I can no longer bear…
But make sure you cry and put on a big show
like you cared about me even though
We all know
My stories were your research on how far you thought you could go
You said I was
Looney
Crazy
Bitter
Miserable
Never happy cause I figured you out
You heard what I needed and took it as an insult
And threw it back on me
And laughed
As if I was too weak..for having any needs.
But now…who cares?
I can\'t put it back inside
This pain has to stop with me
Just to try to make you see
How much damage you caused
Your victims were raised by narcissists.
Even if you don\'t believe me
And seeing your patterns..
Your girls will turn out just like me
Attract men like you who will use them
Steal their accomplishments and make them theirs
Borrow money left and right
And use them at night
Sprinkling tiny bits of affection to keep them alright.
You were absent from them for so long entertaining random girls
See it just isn\'t who you f*ck
your demons will also bleed into your seed
And I\'m not reaching out
Cause I miss you
That isn\'t the plan
I just want you to know
How much I actually hate you
And how weirdly this was always the plan.
I\'ve been hurt by you in many forms
Over the years
You are all the same
laughing at my misfortunes
causing tears and pain
Are you all related? I don\'t think so
You are all just the same narcissists
Who just doesn\'t care.
About anyone, but themselves
With absolutely no shame
You all start with the love bombing..mirroring our emotions
That never lasts
And then comes the cheating
I guess you aren\'t that bad
So I forgave and tried to forget.
Cause i had to protect my feet from the eggshells
Cause we can never talk about your cheating
cause if I do
I am entertaining the girls you chose over me and that has nothing to do with you.
Who was it in Denver you just had to text? I laid there and watched you
and said tomorrow I will forget.
Did she know you were with me
just told me that you loved me?
Or was I was already part of your past?
But thanks again for using me
She will never adore you
Like I did before all the pain
And when she finally sees you
Does she know her future will include the same?
You can pretend all you like
It will never make it right
You will die all alone as you should
not a woman in sight
I dreamt that and still felt pain
Cause I\'m not you and can never be without shame
But I still dreamt that I saw you suffer and laughed out loud with all the women from your past
Cause we all knew that was coming
See…narcissists don\'t care and no matter how much you try
They will never give a f*ck
Cause all we are is a lazy level up
Without any effort on their part
just a big limp d*ck and a hurtful promise
I will marry you…if you can swallow this cupcake whole
Or if you let me stick it in your other hole
In hopes your childish promises will keep you in our good graces
So we will stay quiet about a reality you could never provide.
Yet you forget I have the receipts
Recorded in your hotel with no shame
You couldn\'t get enough of someone else\'s ass
Then came home and made me taste
Tell me, did you at least get paid?
Even the girls who you helped make
Will figure you out
just pick a date
They will end up with a version of you
Who will suck their dreams right out of them
And treat them like pure hell like you all do
They won\'t expect love or affection
Especially no honesty from a male
Their low self esteem will be down to zero
Cause you gave them a dollar bill to show your love
8 hrs a week from their dad isn\'t making the grade
Such a shame
You see the damage done but just don\'t care enough to change
And I write this like a verse
Cause I know you don\'t understand big words
When I tried to talk to you like you was grown
Your eyes just skimmed the page and moaned
So instead of just figuring it out
And leveling up on your own self
You took your dumb ass backwards
And found someone weak
with no teeth but nice fake designer glasses
Who lives off of the government
She could never compete
But I don\'t wish you on anyone
Poor girl
And everyone says
\"Go and heal \"
As if that\'s the answer
Well what about us who healed and healed only to be f\"cked up again by another a$$hole?
How many lifetimes do I need to suffer?
Why should I have to constantly heal?
I\'ve had to heal more minutes of unhappiness than happiness
All
Cause of some ignorant selfish boys with no self control
Who drools over photo shopped girls hoping to get some attention to feed his empty soul.
If I end up in a coma
I told them what to do
Come and let him see
The results of his lack of empathy
So he can take what\'s left of me
And go seek sympathy
Just like he did with our dead baby
Poor Jeremy
I am tired of raising
Boys that are not mine
The ones I gave birth too
Would never cause a woman to cry
Turns out I\'m done fixing
Some careless woman\'s dusty son
Who was too busy out getting any and all the d*cks on the streets
To worry about raising her own one
I know you will never comprehend
These words that i say
All you can understand
Is the fake lyrics you write each day
You will never ever make it or be where you plan
You are supposed to be a grown ass man
But you will always need that self esteem boost that keeps you down in kiddy whore land
So without a thought from your own brain …you write whatever you think will please the masses
Whatever social media says to write. Jeremy says \"I will do just that\"
All for the money and the easy pu$$y you think comes with it.
You will never be Kendrick or Nispy cause you care too much about what others think
Never an original
Writing about drugs and b*tches at your age
So pathetic and so typical
Of someone so out of touch
And I tried to hurt you
Tried to get some random guys
I had plenty of options
That sexy denver man in the blue suit
Who gave me his number and said I was too cute
My doctor ex
an old FWB named Jake
But I am not you
I actually loved you
But didn\'t know I loved someone who spread d*ck around the community
Like it was a prize
With no shame or remorse
And even then, I refused to hurt you
Remember when a part of you was in me?
And had the decency to die?
Knowing that half of him…would grow up to chase wh*res and not be a stand up guy?
My ex was here to help me
I needed someone to hold me and let me cry
He held my hand in the hospital and did everything you were supposed to do
I will never forget him and I know that he is one of the
good ones that I let go
You couldn\'t even speak live to me or offer a kind word, probably glad you don\'t have another hungry mouth you can\'t afford
I guess you were too busy then…putting your d*ck inside
Some old dusty pu$$y that has 6 children to 2 different guys
Maybe this will cause you pain but I doubt it
You are not the weakest link but you could rock it
Karma is a bitch
I know
the second you f*cked me over…
You started to owe.