My feet carried me down the path covered in wild poppies.
The same path you traveled so many times;
The same path I walked months ago where
violent seas and cascading waves
matched
the waterfall of grief pouring through my veins.
This time I brought mom to see your favorite beach; to celebrate
your birthday.
A celebration
Of learning to accept this version of ourselves -
Us without you.
We walked down the stairs to the sand and
watched the dogs run into the waves in the beaming sun.
The sea welcomed their 4 legged joy with each passing wave and
The briny ocean mist ran down my cheeks,
swirling with the saltiness of my tears.
I could have knelt down to try and make
A sand shaped heart.
But I know now
My heart will forever be trying
To catch up to losing you.
And so instead
I planted my feet firmly in the sand;
Gazed into the incoming set of waves.
Breathed in.
Breathed out.
And I kept walking.