If I could melt beneath your skin
Seep deep within your bone, cradle your skeleton in mine
Carve out a place for myself within your lungs, maybe
Pierce through marrow, in a sweet way
In a loving way
Would you let me?
(Have I said this very line to him? Professed my love in this same, raw and tender way? Will I love you, forevermore? Just as I had, around this time last year?)
I tiptoe
I dance
Stepping in just the same pattern as I have before, reciting lines just as I have before
This time a little more sure, a little more wise
A year was a good lesson
A tender love
—And how I miss him, god, how I miss him
(I think about his every move, in a whisper, I think about the sound of his porcelain heart rattling against my chest)
Yet I tiptoe a dance not unfamiliar, not quite as cautious
And I do wish for you to melt, so that I could gather you in my careful hands and breathe a new life into your spine
Oh, how very entitled
How very wanting
(Can I love you in the way I’d want to?)