Cali Kittana

But You Don\'t Love Me

I stare at you with a longing gaze

This rare treat so close yet so far

You glance at me and my heart jumps

But you don\'t love me

 

You know so many things about me and my life

I\'m beginning to learn more about you too

So many private details are shared

But you don\'t love me

 

I can see it in your eyes when you look at me

Hear it in your voice when we get to speak

Knowing deep down it\'s true

You don\'t love me

 

Reading through notes and texts

Rethinking calls and conversations

Even though your voice brightens

You don\'t love me

 

I know you can tell right away

Just from one look into my eyes

The way I\'m feeling is right there

But do I love you

 

Sure it\'s been written out in poems

Maybe even a few deleted text drafts

I\'ve had to bite my tongue when we talk

But do I love you

 

It can all be platonic

The way we help each other out

Why is it so scary to say

I love you

 

Friends say it all the time

I\'ve said it to many before

Yet I feel I can\'t say it to you

I love you

 

You must feel something towards me

Otherwise I\'d have been ghosted years ago

There has to be a reason you\'ve stuck around

Do you love me

 

It\'s not something I can say for sure

Even so you\'ve said that you care

To what extent is the only question

Do you love me

 

Is it said through other means

Like the nickname you gave to me

The one I wear around my neck

You must like me

 

The way you check on me when things get rough

How you always let me know you travel safe

How even a TV channel reminds you of me

You must like me

 

You\'ve told me after breaks you missed me

Always seeming happy to see me

So why are your feelings a mystery

You must like me

 

I\'ve been told things from your friends

Through my ex who spoke with them

I just wonder if any of it\'s true

Do you love me

 

I\'ll get the nerve to say it someday

Maybe casually to cover it up

On a time when you help me cope

I love you

 

The question now is merely how

Is it as friends or do I want more

Are these even my true feelings

But do I love you

 

I\'m positive I know the answer now

After all these years I\'m certain

There shouldn\'t be a question of doubt

You don\'t love me

 

I\'ll keep you like you keep me

Around for when times get rough

Or when a mood needs to be lightened

But you don\'t love me