My life started off with no pg sticker and I soon felt the harshness of reality but also the loving, forgiveness part too!
Once becoming a Father I got another wake up call to the rules boundaries and limitations that comes in life.
With those three things in mind I\'ve been on a never-ending challenging journey to handle confrontation with calmness and most importantly see my own self worth in this world.
Dogs and us share such a deep interwoven connection in the way we raise our young and mostly importantly run and use our own social skills.
Even at this very moment as I sit in my garden, trying to write this. listening to the neighbours, now tipsy barbecue party, with banter going on that is obviously getting close to the line! Boundaries and limitations I hope nobody will cross, if only there were clearer rules like we do with a sport to function as a constructive outlet!
At the very beginning dogs teach their young the boundaries ( like no play fighting while at the milking station)
Next big one would be when it\'s time to cut them off completely from their dependency on it, giving limits and rules that are not crossed.
In day to day life we live within a structure where the rules are backwards for many dogs. Some can handle it but most are a trigger waiting to happen and many humans will still look at the breeds, rather than understand the complexity of conditioning behind it.
Even in most cases when Unwanted behaviour transpires with good or bad intentions, as it does with our own children. The root causes is often overlooked or misunderstood.
The only thing that makes \"Us\" the so called \"dominant\" ones is that we are bigger than the infants, once the age is reached to feel they can challenge authority they do!
How that authority is given and received, plus the whole journey in life will bring the exceptions of how to handle the variety of situations that they go through.
Teaching the trust and respect that bring the loyalty is the most full on mentally changing thing you can do, with dogs or our children.
Learning constantly with how to keep our self and the pack in a neutral state of mind, this means not in flight, fight or freeze. Surrendering becomes the only thing left, bring a mind that\'s able to absorb information better and react with little to no intensity bring only curiosity.
Often I catch myself acting out of emotion rather than necessity, this is where a dogs reaction will differ depending on my energy. Knowing this and learning to breathe in moments of built-up tension always changes everyones actions. Giving space to find the next move or conclude that maybe none is needed at all!
The path to think dog, is a beautiful world of seeing how truly powerful we are and the unbelievable affects we have within the world around us. In the simplicity of body language and the energy we use every second of every day.
Dog by dog I\'ve been slowly shown the path of less resistance. As humans we can study, listen to lectures and watch videos to help guide us in what could be an appropriate response or action in a particular set of circumstances . Nature on the other hand works more by trial and error basis, then some monkey see monkey do kind of observation to act.
Going through many schools of thought from trainers and psychologist, both human and animal it soon became time for me to get a puppy of my own. A brindle boxer mix Staffordshire bull terror, with all the energy of a rocket ready to go. I quickly learned that dogs with a lot of intensity bite hard and it hurts, that become my first obstacle to over come! Lose the fear of getting a bite and help to redirect it on to something that could be bitten.
This would soon pass and my confidence grow, now armed with so much knowledge and the ability to walk my then 6 month old dog with no tension on the lead, it was like nothing could stop me.
Little did I know that my next lesson would come from a random stranger and their dog. As she strolled around a little lake I could see the struggle as there was two leads attached and still pulling her along with a bouncing arm just managing to hold on.
With my cocky attitude and this new found passion, I caught up and started chatting everything I could about dogs and my journey. She soon told me that the dog had actually bitten someone for the last time and was on its last walk!
I couldn\'t believe it. As if the universe could hear my thoughts and just handed me what I\'d been asking for.
As we walked some more sharing stories and she was letting her tears go. I asked if I could interact with the dog, as she cleared her throat and said yes I got some treats out of my pocket.
It gave me a few sniffs and took the biscuit, chuffed I thought this is going well. Suddenly as I look at the dog grabing another treat from my pocket it full on lunged at me! Luckily I pulled my arm up and jumped back to just get a slight tooth mark.
After many apologies I tried to explain that it was 100% my fault. Yet she could only think of what she\'d been told and that the dog was the problem. Sadly this happens all the time.
Knowing straight away I had to replay the moment again and again in my head until i could see what I did wrong with my own body language. It soon became clear of the energy of the owner, walking around in a very unsure and nervous manner that would of made the dog feel more on edge in extra protection mode. Then here I come along with a false sense of confidence and trigger the dog into thinking I was the threat they was looking out for.
Now with my ego put in check I was ready to continue my journey into the world of dogs. By 9 months old my own dog was becoming a fantastic show of my ability to do the job I set out to do. Again I was not ready for the next lesson of an none united pack would bring and upset the balance of a dog.
I\'d already made many difficult choices in life but choosing to except that when you have two children under 5 and only one out of two adults confidently able to control an animal. It is best for all involved that an environment that suits the dog is put first and as I was still part time in another job i rehoused my dog. ( Who lived out her days into a wonderful old age)
Many years passed with me advertised as a walker of aggressive dogs and a few steady clients, before long I was offered the opportunity for rehabilitation that was need with a Chihuahua mix Jack Russell. With lots of discussions we made the choice to help, within weeks he fitted right in and was doing fantastically well.
Again as time passed the dog improved but the ripples of not coming to agreements in the house rules and boundaries, lead to a divorce with an amicable separation.
As this transpired I had gone into full time dog training and concentrating more on the psychology side to learn just how to create a calm balanced dog.
I was always clear and upfront with everyone on only having 5 years experience and over a year of that was just in the theory side. One evening I got a call from someone about their dog and they were in a right panic with the information they\'d be give by one of the biggest UK dog rescue centres on a young saffie they had rehoused and could I help in any way? I told her I could help but she needed to hang up the phone, take a few minutes and call be back. She did and in a lot calmer voice explaining in detail the problem and information they\'d given her about this dogs temperament but it didn\'t add up to what they was seeing, I offered to just meet up for an assessment and this wonderful person would soon make me feel a lot better than I could of ever made them!
This was to be my first job that had come with a dog already assessed by \"professionals\" in the training/behavioural field and I didn\'t see a dog with any issues that would warrant a muzzle needing to be used or to be kept away from other dogs.
Within moments of meeting him I could feel the happy-go-lucky energy just radiating away! I\'ll never forget when the shock came over my client when I said you are right, from what I can tell so far this is a wonderful dog. I\'ll know more once I introduce my own ( rescue) dog but I\'ll do another test now with walking to the front door and ask him to stay in the kitchen. We got up, I did one assertive click and waited for his beautiful chilled sit he did, walked away through the living room to the front door. Opened it stood outside and their he was still perfectly waiting in the kitchen, just able to see each other through the gaps.
I was as absolutely over the moon to not only do what I set out to do but know that whatever process this dog went through to get its labelling put on was obviously misunderstood and more to myself I truly felt I had something to offer in this choice I\'d made to work with dogs. Over the coming months he and the client became good friends to this day and he lived out the rest of his days the best companion you could ever ask for.
As for my next lesson in the art of the mutt, was to keep working with my own dog and came up against another heart-wrenching conundrum. While having my children on a week on week off schedule with their mother, I slowly begin to see a different dog when they kids was and wasn\'t in the house.
He\'s ability to switch off when two kids weren\'t play around became almost instant and the door barking was able to be redirected or stop after one command. It was as if he had nothing to feed off of because the energy in the house had no random sudden movements that would just keep him going or think it\'s backup.
It soon became clear in my head that I had got the dog to a level better than he was but my environment didn\'t actually help his already conditioned behaviour.
The hardest part was tell my two children that it had to happen and help with their tears by letting them know they did such an amazing job. Thanks to them as they help him learn not to be afraid of kids and that he can now go for nice walks and not start barking at everyone in the park but he feels more comfortable if there was no children in his home. To this day I\'ll never forget the lesson that dog gave me in trust, respect and loyalty for tears we shared and the helping me through a massive part of my life. He was a super mutt that was small in size but mighty in spirit showing me time and time again what it ment to have true forgiveness.
I\'ve learnt many things through life and being a big Bruce Lee follower in the way of absorbing what is useful and disregarding what is not but adding essentially what is my own. Each training job that I was fortunate to get was another reminder that there could be no master in this trade! It is an art form that you constantly have to be ready to adapt or even leave until you can formulate another plan but mostly learn to not to think but feel.
From watching a dog became friends with a rabbit I trained to sit and take treats, to a dog getting caught in an electric fence and become even more of my best friend, nothing has been harder than to communicate with another human on the knowledge I\'ve learned and the experience I\'ve earned. To even seeing it in front of their faces and still not understand or have many what if, yes but and my very favourite, it doesn\'t like it when I touch it like this!
No doubt we all have the right to live as we choose but does the dog get a choice and do we really ever help them as from the moment they are with us we are conditioning them to go against most of their built-in instinctive instructions. The more I read at the beginning it was clear that we don\'t and the way that we gained this knowledge back in the day should never have to be repeated again, it\'s to late to turn back now. They will forever be with us, side by side showing us how to adapt to any situation that is new, Unfamiliar or unexpected and the true masters in handling change with the ability to keep living in the moment.
Despite many times being told how much I\'ve helped and completely changed someones life forever, to the ones I fail to connect with and the dogs that end up stuck in a world they have no choice but to be in, will forever keep me struggling to see if I should just give this all up! When job after job goes right it can be a real downer when it goes wrong.
It\'s taken me many years to see that their are so many people in this line of work because their are so many of us and that\'s as many different amount of ways to think and understand information, we are not all the same and this was the only reason I got shown I could do this in the first place.
My son was the reason I saw that many of the complications we had with his behaviour was lack of knowledge and how to find the right action or words to use but once shown before I knew it most of the difficulties became solvable. It was always only a matter of time and patience, mixed with the love and dedication.
Keeping all this in mind and now several years down the line, many people I\'d helped to live in harmony with their dogs and some becoming good friends. Part of me and still some others would say but its not a real job or you\'re not even qualified, what are my credentials!
My next move was to provide this piece of paper many had asked about and in this achievement remove this shadow that hung over me like a dark cloud. First was just an online course and passed it but to be honest it may as well of be a driving theory test as it was not that difficult, multiple questions ask all the way.
While on my search I found someone offering a full weekend course and sounded right up my street. He had been over to the USA and trained with a very well know behaviourist!
Sadly after the two days it became very clear that this was no real creation and really just a guy that was fortunate enough to meet someone I admired alot. Then reply their videos all weekend that I could of sat at home and done, I even felt he left out quite a bit of key information. As I was not there to help my own dog, I was there to improve my skill on being a behaviourist.
Never really having much of a physical mentor in life, even more so in the line of work I had felt a calling to do. My next client would soon become someone I admire to this day for many reasons but without a doubt the boost in confidence I needed to believe someone like me with the background I\'ve got, never finishing school, could match, debate and even give some education to a university well educated person.
Sadly although we agreed on many schools of thought, they had take on a dog that had been in more homes than years alive. Highly reactive but so much potential and although he had shown lots of progress an incident happened that will forever stay with me, not because I was there but its been to this day the only dog I\'ve worked with (out of hundreds) that got put to sleep and in that giving me the greatest drive to always speak my truth and never quit!
On this note its never be easy for me to deal with situations where I can see if the owners understand one or two things, maybe even take the dog out for more than what you\'ll pay someone to do. This is honestly something I love and breathe every second of every day, if random people give me their time in the street I\'ll stop and talk dogs till I\'m blue in the face.
There is a story a family member likes to tell people if we chat dogs and about my uncontrollable passion for what I believe in! While on holiday and trying to take a break in the sun. We was all walking through a beautiful village at the coast. As we dawdle along enjoying the view I can\'t help but notice someone struggling with the dog and trying to listen to some live music outside a pub. The lead constantly had tension and the mutt just barking its head off for no reason other than it could. I quickly said to those I was with that I was going to offer that person some advice, my partner laughed because it\'s what I do.
I\'m never sure how I do it yet the conversation started and I explained on the difference between tension and relaxation with what it means to the dog! They happily took my business card and gave it a few attempts with a shock (like they all do) this is actually worked. I walk off happy knowing that another person is not lost in a doctor Dolittle world of thinking as I once did about dogs, an hour or so the same people was in another part of town and noticed me the other side of the street. They couldn\'t wait to shout across, as the dog waited nicely! \"IT\'S LIKE A DIFFERENT DOG\" we laughed and I swear my feet were hardly touching the ground as I glided away
You don\'t need to have to much knowledge unless you plan on rehabilitating a dog but the old school class of obedience, to me only help the few and never really plan on the education of the many of how to think dog. Just more how to do tricks and repeat the same pattern that\'s been going on for years but this approach has not stopped all the dogs ending up in sheltering or worse acting out in public or home to end up with being euthanized.
As I look back there has never been a dog that didn\'t help me and some that got where they were under the most unique set of circumstances! The only time I\'ve ever truly got bitten was when I underestimated the power of the environment and owner. At one stage in my journey I was renting a room in a house that happened to be cheep for a reason, she had a dog that didn\'t like strangers! Perfect again, after a little chat we to an arrangement on helping out with the dog for extra discount.
It soon became clear after hearing the story of this dog and meeting the lady of the house, she shouldn\'t really have the dog and to be told that the local authorities had already been around and seen nothing they could do! This dog had not had its harness removed in years and a lead was attached so she didn\'t need to go to close. My first full day with the dog after about 4 hours I managed to removed the harness and gentle put a slip lead on. We enjoyed the rest of day getting lots of affection and treats and I left him at home happy and got on with my evening!
The next morning I was ask how it went and although I thought we had built a friendship as I\'d seen the dog already that morning when coming down early. He was not with owner in the room and I didn\'t read the sign of him moving under the her chair that she was sitting on, I mistakenly moved towards her to shown the connection we had and he went straight for my foot, as I moved my hand out to block him my little finger got attacked. Not enough to need medical attention but enough for the owner to be devastated and the dog blot off up the stairs. I quickly said it no problem and completely my fault while washing my finger under a cold tap, to then go up the stairs and find the dog just sitting the corner giving no eye contact. I layed on the floor letting him know I felt no threat from him and in a way I apologise for over stepping the mark, he soon came up have me a little sniff even a lick on the hand and moved off! Job done I said and walked away with the owner shocked on how I handle it with no words and the guts to trust him again. This is the way of the dog and living in the moment I replied.
Moving on in life I ended up meeting the most amazing woman, her son and their Jack Russell who would truly test me in my idea of thinking I know what I\'m doing! This dog had a few rules and boundaries but nothing ever really enforced being left to just be a dog. Yet with a willful spirit we soon showed all around that old dogs can learn new tricks and was there to see my next child because this magnificent lady became my wife!
Soon we was in business together and for the first time from when I first started on this journey I was ready to get a puppy to help me help other dogs. For you can have all the paperwork to say you know what you are doing and even talk and good talk but when it comes down to just you and the dog, you best have some skill or talent under that belt.
Knowing so much more than I did before we knew perfectly what we was looking for, strolling through the Internet my partner found some dogs to look at. Of we travelled to see if this could be our first big commitment in the relationship but most of all my long awaited time that my environment and lifestyle was stable enough to keep a dog.
It was such a beautiful moment I\'ll never forget and the way it happened without words was quite magical. Pulling into the place it was a beautiful afternoon and the puppies had quite a big play pen they was all in. After a little chat and an introduction to mum and dad we went to see the little ones.
Just me and my wife was there and we was the first so it was pick of the litter, obviously they all got excited for new people coming in. We both stood opposite ends and they was all running back and forth getting to know us, after a few minutes one of them stopped in the middle to see what was going on and in that moment I thought that\'s the one looked up to see that my wife had seen the same and both said, that\'s one! No clue if it was male or female but it was the first one lose the excitement and look like they was working things out.
She has become a true business card and not only started many conversations over just how good and chilled out she is, many dogs have been able to live a better life all because of her. Yet like I tell many people and the saying goes \"it takes a village\" she only this good because I had to just follow behind what the old boy ( Jack )did in the house to keep the puppy respect full!
We all have an opinion and my way works for me and what I try to do is help others find a way that works for them, as for what keeps me calm and confident is not the same for very one but the result we all want is the same. To gain a better connection with our dogs and both live the happiest life we can, making the most from the cards we get dealt.
I could share a few stories of when trainers have told people to either move if the dog keeps barking or told someone that the dog can\'t be helped and should go back to a shelter, of which I managed to make those things not happen while all the time getting even more knowledge back.
My most recent experience in the last couple of years was a rescue case that I couldn\'t help but wait to share as both dog and owner is a huge part in my development, with both of us gaining access in tools to improve our life.
You never get the dog you want but the one you need. No matter how long they are in our life for, because this one came from a puppy that was out of control but was born here unexpectedly due to the dog that was rescued was actually pregnant without the owners knowledge. Meaning during the ride from Europe to UK the mother must of been under intense moments of stress and anxiety, to then have some that was also unprepared for the situation although did outstandingly well.
Together we worked on a range of issues from mother and son, like with every client it becomes part of my every day thinking and not only did the owner become a huge part of my own transformation but we turned the mother around 100% and the son is still a working progress but aren\'t we all!
There will never be a time limit as much as people like to ask me how long something with a dog will take. They are not burden with a sense of time and just like all of us humans we may laugh, cry and bleed the same yet everything is unique in its own special way.
To all those that believed in me and even those that did not I\'m grateful for you all. In this life I once only dreamed of that has now become true. Getting the privilege in meeting new people every day and making mine and hopefully their world a better place in the grand picture of seeing all of life in balance and harmony.
I strongly feel that even if you don\'t own a dog you\'ll know some that does or even if you never would, there will always be those that do and it would serve us all if we understand their way of thinking a little better. For truth be told the only reason we know all the stuff we do about our own species is because we manipulated dogs, monkeys, rats and a like.
All for a better understanding and a better humanity.