It’s 3:57, and I’m still stuck,
I left you on the side of the road
said I didn’t love myself
I miss you, and maybe that’s my own insecurities speaking
don’t forget me
I’ll admit, I’ve tried to forget you all this time
slept with countless men too
I’m tired of weaving myself into my own delusion
you said you were the only one who would ever love me, and maybe you were right
left you because I didn’t love myself, and I still don’t, so where did that get me?
I’m stuck and now it’s 4:01
I wish I could take things back
even if your love was choking me with fear
at least it was love, I wish I could’ve seen that sooner, and that’s my own delusion
I don’t have the courage to text you and tell you to love me until I love myself, I’m not the best person but you knew that
still, you willing loved me
maybe it’s my own delusion, not getting better, not being completely transparent with anyone including myself
I know i’m ill, I get into things and get bored faster than I move on
I wish you could’ve stopped me
but my actions are on me
I’ve tried to forget you but our sex strokes still come to me at times like this
still, I don’t know what it is I want, maybe you’re not even the answer
all I know is I don’t love myself
I feel so empty without you, and that’s my own fault
I’ve tried to be an honest man, but my own delusion keeps me astray