It wasn’t toxic you told me
none of it was toxic
and maybe it wasn‘t
but why did you take 2 weeks to plan it and still pretend whilst you did that
it wasn’t toxic whilst you told everyone before me
it wasn’t toxic when you couldn’t sit next to me at work
it wasn’t toxic when you couldn’t look me in the eye when I said I loved you
it wasn’t toxic when you couldn’t say you loved me.
it wasn’t toxic when you couldn’t wriggle out of a hug fast enough because you’d already desensitised to it
it wasn’t fucking toxic when you took a week to plan when to do it.
It wasn’t toxic when you laughed because I broke my hand over it
It wasn’t toxic.
you promised it wasn’t toxic.