No matter the pain , the letdowns and fear.
Sometimes deep down I wish you were here.
You’re not in heaven , in-fact you’re ten minutes away but the addiction has already taken you far astray.
Unsure whether it’s the thought of you being okay that brings back the pain everyday.
As I know you’re not , however nothing I can do or say will make you stop.
I wish things were different, perhaps the way they were that one day, knowing that day was one of many but the abuse occurred plenty.
Am I silly for wishing you the best , as when I hear you’re not I’m unable to explain the pain in my chest.
I don’t want you back , but I want you safe , even though you were never really that place.