I miss the time when
soap was just soap
and not a reminder of the shower i took
before my parents
announced their divorce
i miss the time when
ice clinking against a metal cup
was just that
and not a trigger for tears
as my aunt who passed away
always carried a cup
with ice that drummed melodies
against its insulated walls
i miss the time when
friendship wasn\'t scary
before people became placeholders for my boundaries
as others had crossed them in the past
i miss the time when
pop was my favorite genre
when the teenage dream i heard about
in songs was still far away
and i wasn’t afraid
of never fulfilling that dream
as I enter my 20s
i miss the time when
i asked my parents what words mean
and my vocabulary wasn\'t advanced enough
to curse your name
in the most creative ways
…
how funny it is
that words fail to mean different things
until you live life inside the pages of a thesaurus,
seeking meaning
in the mess that surrounds you.