How come I think of you when I write?
Why can\'t you just get out of my head...
If it wasn\'t for you, I wouldn\'t be in this mess.
I wouldn\'t feel this sadness.
I wouldn\'t feel this intense emotion of nothing.
I wouldn\'t feel like I\'m stuck in place.
I wouldn\'t take every drug I could find just to forget about you.
I wouldn\'t drown myself in alcohol due to a form of dehydration that I now realize is from the lack of love I feel.
I wouldn\'t do a lot of things if it weren\'t for you simply living in my brain.
You\'ve bought your land, built a little house on a hill. You created a garden and eventually produced your own food. You sold a few plants to some neighbors. You began to feed all the other people living around you. You then decided to create stores selling your own produce, and it became such a wide franchise that now whenever someone thinks of eating, they think of you.
You\'ve planted a seed in my head. A seed that grew incredibly fast, but is now nothing but a weed that has rendered all other living plants useless and dead. You are an invasive species invading my every thought, every word, every action. You continue to spread even as I attempt to pluck you from the cracks in the concrete side walks.
I hate that you\'re gone, but I watered you for too long and lost my own essence with you.
- pj