carpe4diem

i wonder

TRIGGER WARNING.

 

i stay up till 8am, i can hear the morning birds and there\'s light coming through the gaps of my curtains.

 

i haven\'t slept. i hardly do anymore.

 

my flashlight is always on because i see shadows in the dark and i always have music playing because i can hear whispers in my room.

 

i can\'t leave my room to go to the toilet because there\'s people in the hallway waiting for me. i used to sleep with my closet open because it\'s broken, but i forcefully jammed it shut because there\'s things living in there.

 

my brain wont shut up and the self harm wont stop. my lungs are starting to ache because i smoke too much.

 

i haven\'t seen my best friend in weeks, i used to see her everyday. i haven\'t even left my bed in those weeks.

 

i think about hurting people again, i think about leaving stalkerish letters in his mailbox. 

 

i wonder if i could fly. i wonder.