Old Archie was a rag and bone man
Who cruised the streets all day
With Mabel his trusted friend and companion
Who pulled the four wheel dray
Which he had purloined from a brewery
Which had been closing down
A big old red brick building
That was on the edge of town
Now Mabel was twenty eight years old
A big old dapple grey
Who cost old Archie a fortune
In biscuits and in hay
But they has been together forever
Or so it really seemed
To Archie as he sat upon the seat
Occasionally falling asleep and dreamed
Rag and Bone he used to shout
As loud as loud could be
And people would come out and give
Old clothes and other goods for free
Sometimes around the posh areas
He would have to pay
And that would just set him off
Moaning the rest of the day
For Archie was a tightwad
Money seemed to be welded in his pocket
He even had a few pound notes
Around his neck in an old locket
But it also contained a picture
Of his beloved flo
His wife for many a long year
The Lord decided had to go
So now it was only Mabel and him
Companions till the end
Working together all day long
Archie’s one true friend.
One day whilst out upon their round
Mabel caused a disgrace
Her tummy was not all it should be
She left manure all over the place
P C Smith came running
Stop he shouted loud and clear
Bur Archie being a little bit deaf
He really did not hear
The constable was now running fast
Gaining on the dray
But slipped upon some of Mabel’s mess
As Archie went on his merry way
He landed in a heap in the road
About twenty feet further adrift
Regaining his composure as best he could
Out came his notebook rather swift
I am arresting you he shouted
For causing this sorry mess
So let’s be having you matey
What’s your name and address
By now a crowd had gathered round
Complaining of police brutality
For picking on an old man and his horse
Only a rag and bone man you see
As P C Smith put away his notebook
Realising it was a waste of time
Mrs Jones came from up the road
A lady in her prime
Bucket and spade in hand
She started to scoop up the mess
It’s for my Roses she cried
Spilling some on her dress
Meantime old Archie and Mabel
Started off down the road
Having caused all chaos
His dray now with a full load
It had been just another day for Mabel and him
Who had seen it all, over the past twenty-eight years
A lifetime of hard work and laughter
Along with a few tears
So if you see them out when you’re passing
Just give them a wave and a cheer
Or even better still
Buy them a well earned beer