Let me show you.
I said like I was sorry.
He ignored me.
I touched his body and grabbed around his waste.
He turned around and looked at me, like show me.
I slowly touched and went down his body with mouth barely open and that look in my eyes.
Eye contact the whole time. He looked at me, licked his lips and said; show daddy how sorry you are.
I wasn\'t but I wanted to please him. I wanted him to love me. I got on my knees and didn\'t even touch his pants. Mouth slightly open I grabbed him and pulled him close.
He fed me.
He fed me until HE wasn\'t hungry anymore.
I drank him. I drank him as though I was dehydrated.
He suddenly loved me.
The anger was gone but the distance was not. It didn\'t matter how dirty I felt even though he was the only one. All that mattered is he suddenly loved me. He loved me as though I mattered.
For 1 minute. I mattered. For 1 minute, he loved me. I just didn\'t love myself. But he didn\'t care. He didn\'t care as long as he got what he wanted. It wasn\'t until years later I realized what I wanted mattered too.