There is a chasm where my heart should be
I\'ve tried to fill it up countless times
With exercise and diets, food and distractions, self-harm and restriction
But no matter how much I put in
The darkness seems to swallow it whole
And afterwards there\'s still the same emptiness within me.
I\'ve tried to stitch myself back up
Attempting to bridge the gap and close the chasm
I\'ve tried therapy, medication, journalling; I did everything right
But the harder I pull on my skin to close it up
The more it tears and the bigger the chasm gets
Nothing seems to work.
I wonder if it wouldn\'t be better to jump into the chasm myself
It would be so easy to let the darkness swallow me whole
One slice, one jump, one pill too many
And I can just erase myself from existence
But I\'m afraid of the emptiness I\'ll leave behind
That with my absence things will only get darker for the ones that love me.
There is a chasm where my heart should be
But I don\'t want to make chasms in place of other people\'s hearts as well
I wouldn\'t wish this emptiness on anyone
So I think I\'ll stay for a little while longer
Standing at the edge of the chasm looking at my darkness
And wondering if there\'ll ever be light again.