Its funny how
I really thought you were the one
That you weren\'t like the other crowds
But I was wrong
You just played games with me, and won
Congratulations, I hope you feel good
As you see how you\'ve destroyed me
See the tears of sorrow, clear
While you say you never know what you do to me
And it\'s kind of embarrassing
Because I thought you were my everything
But you\'re not, and never were
You were just another immature lure
Sure, you made me smile,
With your rude jokes
But I never thought
That we were also a joke for a while
How can you say you love me
When all you do is break me down
How do you not see
That sometimes you cause my frown
I\'ve been hurt my whole life
And now you\'re just adding on to the problem
When you know I have inner strife
That I\'m used to being solemn
Now I don\'t think I could ever trust
Or love again
Because giving it your all is a must
But apparently not to you, or your \"friends\"
Why is it I can never be happy?
Or at least have a shoulder to cry on
Or a will to be strong
A reason for laughing?
Instead, I have to deal with the pain
And all the turmoil
I feel as if I might go insane
For everything good always spoils
God, I wish it would all end already
I wish to finally be steady
Instead of imagining perfect stories
And being thrown by winds of worries
\"Aegri somnia vana\" -
A sick man\'s empty dreams
Sick, like a puppet being torn to seams
Dreams that say I\'ll find a nirvana
And I actually believe them
For that hope is all I have to live on
It\'s the green comforting stem
To my dying flower against the sun
Its wilted head bent low just like mine
It\'s blackened petals that fall
Like the Patience and Sanity in my mind
Or like the pestulant bugs that crawl
People say these are the golden years
But I just want to disappear
I\'m just waiting for the last sunset
The taking of my last breath
So I can finally rest.