seventeen

will i ever set myself free?

 

you pull me closer and

we slowly set off,

going to another sea. 

 

from all the places on earth,

my darling,

will i ever set myself free?

 

because this mast and

morning fogs

are never going to be my home,

 

i’m looking at the bottom

of the bottle, away

from the rest of the world, alone.

 

some birds sing happily but they

sing somewhere else —

blue whales howl terribly,

 

i’m going to the south; it’s warmer, the birds are coming too somehow

as i’m losing another day

 

no future, no pain, no reflections,

there’s no home on the maps,

i’m falling into soft water’s embrace.

 

no traces of forgotten face,

and no shark’s teeth.

nameless, i’m breaking into the storm

 

to find myself at peace again.

the captain’s quarters damp,

my heart is in my throat.

 

one day, i hope, this ship will sink.

without me,

slowly going under

 

and that wouldn’t hurt me more,

not a celestial loss

but a skydiving wonder

 

and one will know, and one will tell

how miserable we all are

in our own miserable oceans,

how overflowing!

to go back to the sea,

and live,

and die,

and seek our truths.

to cover them in beach sand and give our words a deeper meaning.

to wake up in another place

and begin to  see