The sadness in my head
Makes my body feel like
Lead.
I can\'t let myself feel;
I can\'t let myself heal.
He lied to me,
That demon in my head,
He told me I was worth
Nothing.
And I believed him.
He spoke to me,
He wouldn\'t leave,
He told me that I
Couldn\'t be loved.
And I believed him.
I felt worthless;
Unloved,
Like I can\'t trust
Them,
Or even myself.
He told me then,
That demon so dear,
That I was nothing
But broken.
I believed him.
He warned me of myself,
As if I didn\'t know
The dangers of me
Were the dangers of him
Embedded in my body.
He loves me now
That demon so near,
He tucks me in at night
And kisses me under
The reading light.
He whispered to me,
That demon so powerful,
That I was just a child,
All weak,
Although worn.
I cried that night,
The first night he came,
I felt his demonic presence
Laugh with me
As depression invaded.
I felt him every moment after that,
The dry eyes studying
The zoning out during class.
He told me if I killed myself
People might love me more.
212 days after I attempted suicide,
With scars on my arm,
And a butterfly on my hand,
I feel the demon still,
Cackling at the sight of his child.