Lil

Two Poems.

Who Am I?

 

Who Am I?
Who am I? They often tell me,
I come out of my cell
Calmly, cheerfully, resolutely,
Like a lord from his palace.
Who am I? They often tell me,
I used to speak to my warders
Freely and friendly and clearly,
As though it were mine to command.
Who am I? They also tell me,
I carried the days of misfortune
Equably, smilingly, proudly,
like one who is used to winning.
Am I really then what others say of me?
Or am I only what I know of myself?
Restless, melancholic, and ill, like a caged bird,
Struggling for breath, as if hands clasped my throat,
Hungry for colors, for flowers, for the songs of birds,
Thirsty for friendly words and human kindness,
Shaking with anger at fate and at the smallest sickness,
Trembling for friends at an infinite distance,
Tired and empty at praying, at thinking, at doing,
Drained and ready to say goodbye to it all.
Who am I? This or the other?
Am I one person today and another tomorrow?
Am I both at once? In front of others, a hypocrite,
And to myself a contemptible, fretting weakling?
Or is something still in me like a battered army,
running in disorder from a victory already achieved?
Who am I? These lonely questions mock me.
Whoever I am, You know me, I am yours, O God.

 

 \"Speechless.\" 

My name is Lily
My sister is Amelia
I am six,
And she is six

And there is nothing I can do.

Our dad\'s always mad.
He screams and he yells.
I don\'t think he likes us.
It\'s easy to tell.

Mum\'s only kind
When dad\'s not around,
And when he is home,
She hardly makes a sound.

Mum\'s always out,
Never home.
Dad\'s always drunk
And always alone.

As soon as we hear
Those jingly keys,
We run and hide.
We run and plea.

We find a place
And curl up tight.
I hold her hand
And she holds mine.

And soon enough,
Dad then walks in.
Don\'t make a sound; don\'t say a word.
I pray inside, deep within.

But Amelia, she cannot help herself
For the pain is just too much.
\"Oh God,\" she yells,
\"Why are you so mean?\"

He doesn\'t like what she has said
And beats her even more,
And with one last hit,
Hard and strong, he pulls away and watches.

She takes one last gasp of air,
Our hands still holding,
Then falls to the ground where I sat
And doesn\'t move a muscle.

I stare at him ,
My eyes so blue.
He looks at me
And yells, \"O you!\"

\"How dare you.
Make me so mad.
This is all your fault
Go cry be sad!\"

My name is Lily
My sister is Amelia
I am six,
And my beautiful sister was only six as well

That day my Daddy
Murdered her.
My best friend,
She was my world.

We stuck together
Through thick and thin,
But now she\'s gone.
I\'m lost within.

When I was six, my sister was six as well
My Daddy murdered Amelia
Since that day I have not spoke,
For it\'s speaking that made her die.