ankitadey29

New year\'s eve

Sunset is whispering through December’s cold snap, setting out the sky in hues of lavender and amber. The trees, adorned in the remnants of winter’s glory; still moist with the morning’s vapour, standing as quiet to the witnesses to the changing time, while the world’s leaving behind the fragments of the past and moving forward with the joy of a spring. It’s that time of the year when the nature pauses, wrapped in its serene contemplation, which invites room for all of us to raise our toast on the departing day, as the night engulfs the yellow leaf’s surface illuminated with a golden warmth, which dances in a joy of a new beginning. A new rise for the gratitude to settle in.

As we get ready to start our New Year’s Eve festivities, there’s a sense of tension that builds up in our face, although, it hardly goes noticed. It’s not the subtle tension or the constraint to enjoy the last beautiful evening of this year, but rather, an elusive tension which seems to blend the nostalgia of the fragrance of our past’s delight and the intend to witness a new beginning. The candlelight in the living room flickers as the cool breeze of winter passes by carrying with it the distant laughter of your neighbour revelling in the festivities outside, giving off her last- minute presents to her loved ones with a smile. A warm glow emanates from flickering flames in the fireplace around your pet dog sleeping in his awe, having a comforting radiance. The air doesn’t breathe of mid Autumn anymore, rather, it carries the scent of freshly baked pancakes, Darjeeling’s black tea, saffron fields of Pampore Kashmir, freshness of scenic valleys of Munnar. December sums up all of these feelings.

There’s something about this night that weighs heavily upon our soul, as if each passing second is carrying the expectations of enjoying every moment, extracting the maximum yield of joy from the midnight hours of the night. There’s a duality of feeling overwhelming and the muted conversations of a personal quest that plays in our mind while we look fixedly on the big round wall clock that’s about to tick 12. It isn’t the embers of yesteryears which glows brighter than tonight’s moon, it’s the shine of familiar drunk beaming faces amidst the quiet chambers of your heart. It’s funny how those faces would be framed in the sepia tones of your memory by the next five years, where you might feel the bittersweet embrace of the past while you catch a glance on the crooked teeth of your best friend while they were trying to open a beer bottle with their teeth. And besides your giddy best friend, there stands their secret admirer, one who can read through their lips and silence, the caretaker of their not-so-silly-fragile heart. You wish them a good luck on life, another year of togetherness and erratic adventures. No, you don’t call them the Aditi and Avi of your group, they are more than just two protagonists in a slow burn Bollywood rom com. These are the people you’re going to miss when you move out of the town, chasing an unfulfilled resolution that you made last year.

Someone rings the bell of your door. It’s a person from your childhood who you adored the most, your batch mate and the partner in small crimes. With a hand carrying a bouquet of flowers, chocolates and a self made New Year’s card. As they hug you tight, you contemplate how the people who shaped your childhood have become so distant, merely the echoes in the halls of memory.

Every year 31st December is a reminder of how things change over the year, the months and the days. It’s never the same. Life’s always giving away and taking up something from us which isn’t growing up in disguise. It’s a reminder of the world telling us to get up from the bedlam of life’s happenings and appreciate the beauty in new beginnings. Maybe it was true when they said, “Some people swear there’s no beauty left in the world, no magic. Then, how do you explain the entire world coming together on one night to celebrate the hope of a new year?” When you’re actually secretly expecting someone to show up at your door and tell you that they love you and make everything alright just as Harry did in When Harry Met Sally. Then it also takes back you to the sudden realisation of having someone by your side again this time might be scary, thinking about all the times people broke your heart. You’ve come a long way of wanting someone to like you for the person you’ve changed yourself into just for them to not considering giving your energy into something that doesn’t work for you, for that they don’t want to see you living as the person as you are.

Even when the heart’s carrying the weight of hardships as the calender turns, you turn into a mosaic of all the people you’ve met, who have influenced you by any means. It’s like they have woven you into a tapestry of your growth. Having such thoughts in one corner of your mind, you look into your childhood scrapbook, where you find a photograph of your grandparents holding you when you were a kid. You don’t let the tears fall from your eyes, as you want this night to be a beautiful canvas of a starry night. You can’t confront the gentle ache of missing the familiar cadence of your grandmother’s voice when she used to call you for doing your hair after you were done playing with your friends in the backyard. As you hand out your newly bought silver crockery to your friend for serving the brunch, you find yourself standing in a position where you weave your dreams into resolutions that shimmer in the night sky? As the trees have to shed leaves in the perpetual cycle of renewal, you envision the idea of leaving something, good or bad, behind. You think of releasing the anchors of negativity, regrets and self doubt as you want to sever ties with your old self.

The clock has ticked midnight. It’s New Year. A new beginning. A new day to your new life. The world echoes in the stillness of welcoming the 2024 chapter with a silent prayer, holding each other’s hand, feeling a moment of gratitude, unravelling the mysteries of a fresh chapter. I bid adieu to the past year with gratitude for everyone. Here’s to a great new chapter, filled with joy, growth, and the echoes of friendships that grew old with the seasons. Happy New Year🥂