I don’t know when it started,
I can’t find a reason.
I guess time works like water,
Eroding feelings away.
I’m unsure how it happened,
Why it hurts so bad,
Now the first gift ever received,
Feels like poison to me.
A name is a prediction,
Of what the future holds,
It tells people who you are,
Before they even know.
It’s the way that I’m addressed,
By family, friends, and peers,
A thing of curiosity,
The first you ever own.
Nicknames come and nicknames go,
Some to endear and some to hurt the soul.
Some are self-given for places made of code,
Some are self-inflicted when pain overflows.
I don’t know when it started,
You called me by name,
But the name you used sounded foreign,
Like an insult that day.
I don’t know how it happened,
My name is not my own,
Now a name self-given,
Sounds more like home.
I don’t know how to tell you,
I’m not the name you gave,
I can’t explain the reason,
I told my name goodbye.
I used to like my name,
But something now has changed,
So I live in limbo,
A stranger to my name.