No pain, no gain. Right?
What have I gained from 46 years of pain? Fright!
Fright about my mental state of mind and my future.
Well, this has been happening since I was a youngster.
My first experience with fright was at age two when my brain was crucially developing while I sat on every church pew.
Watching him praise God and fooling those around him made my life confusing and grim.
For years, this darkness caved me like a cozy blanket covered in fleas.
Whatever would I do without this life full of doubt? Doubt about who I really am or supposed to be before Mr. Holy stole it from me.
Out of the beatings he gave and the gratification he insisted, sprouted a scared little girl in a woman\'s existence.