Some years ago I moved, ya know
and needed to borrow a truck
I told a friend my story and asked to borrow his lorry
to me he said “You\'re in luck”
“When you\'re done, don\'t bother me son,
just leave the truck in my drive”
“Put the key under the door mat, I\'ll know where it\'s at,
I have to be up by five”
After working all day, to my dismay,
it was as black as my mood when I was done
Having never been to his address, I found it none the less,
left the key and home did run
The next morning bright, I called to see if all was right
“What did you do to me?” he said
In a voice of dismay I heard him say
“it\'s good you weren\'t here or you\'d be dead”
He said he was appalled when the police had called
saying his stolen vehicle had been recovered
looking to his lawn he saw the truck was gone
he thought “my key some thief has discovered”
“No time for a cup I\'ll go pick it up”
He went to the house where the police said it was at
A man came out and started to shout
He was wildly swinging a bat!
“This morning when I came home, instead of my wife alone,
I found this parked in my drive, right there!”
Asked “where\'s the jerk?” she said “No one\'s been here while you\'re at work”
“But I knew she was having an affair”
“I went to the truck and from the glove box did pluck
the registration”
“I could see, you live only a block from me
how would you like to suffer castration?”
Backing away my friend began to say
“I can explain if you\'ll put down that bat”
“Confused in the dark, a friend did it park”
For proof, Thank God! The key was under the door mat