I\'ve held my trauma close all my life
I let it seep into my pores
And wrap itself around my heart and my lungs
There it resided as a familiar weight
Numbing my emotions
And weighing down my spirit for years
I never really noticed just how heavy it had gotten
Until I shared a bit of it with someone else
And suddenly I could breathe a bit better
Even sharing that tiny sliver
Lifted a weight off my chest
That had unknowingly been holding me down
My system has been so used to it
That it\'s been protesting the loss of its weight
And holding on tighter to the bits that are left
Sometimes panic overtakes me
Because my heart has gotten the space to start beating
And I feel like it\'s going to jump out of my chest
But now that I\'ve started
I want to be rid of it all
And while I know its ichor might hold me together
Perhpas falling apart is necessary to find me again
Because for all of its heaviness
My trauma has never been all that I am.