I know it\'s self-destructive.
I know it\'s hurting others.
But through the fuzzy warmth, I can\'t seem to care.
I don\'t do it on purpose, but it\'s a feeling I can\'t let go.
The thrill of chasing that dragon is like nothing you can imagine.
I have tried to stop, to take care of myself and others,
but I can only ever get so far before falling.
It\'s a mess I got myself into, but one I can\'t escape alone.
I\'ve tried to clean up, but it\'s not that easy for an addict.
Every time I put down the needle, the thrill of the high replays in my mind like a broken record.
I don\'t \'enjoy\' it, but I\'ve become reliant on the poison coursing through my veins.
You say you don\'t recognize me, but that\'s okay,
I don\'t recognize me either.
I hope you don\'t resent me when I become a shell of my past.
I can\'t promise I won\'t hurt you;
But I can promise it won\'t be intentional.
I truly hope that through the blackouts and the jelly-like state of myself,
that maybe one day, you can find it in your heart to forgive me.
But until then, I\'ll be here; still trapped in that delicate euphoria.