| When Will I Learn |
Take it all away.
Shed my existence
of who I was who I am
and who I\'ll ever be.
Take away my fears.
Break down these walls
peer into the cracks
and see the One of Me.
Found gagged and chained.
Entire existence restrained
by the trance placed around my brain.
Driving me insane.
Take away my inhibitions.
Rooted out causing doubts
of who I was meant to become.
Fading away and awaiting the day
That what keeps me here
loosens its grip.
Starting to slip - shattered worlds
and busted lips.
Shells of my sorrows
dug well into my hips.
Was I meant for this?
Feed me pain break me down
till I can no longer make a sound.
Every will to fight taken
as the morning Sun steals
the night.
Wandered lost in the darkness
Seven signs to see the light.
Still don\'t know yet
If I\'m alright.
Nearly lost my sight.
Rip off the bandaid
and show you my pain
but what\'s to gain?
Wounds don\'t heal
when you dig into them.
And I\'m long past tired of going out on a whim
when the outlook still looks grim.
And you all think my problems revolve around him?
Morality - the totality - of riddles
tied to my reality.
Meant to guide my way
but if I had my day
they\'d understand what I\'m
meaning to say.
Instead tumultuous turbulence
is the tune my life plays.
Pass the tests - complete the phase.
Hang me out to dry.
This never ending stream of tears
just keeps going.
No matter to the years
that old tuner box keeps showing
the many times I had to pick up
what\'s left of me and move on.
Remaining strong - left then right
to write these wrongs.
And in my heart I know
Free birds
sing a different song.
Caging my voice
where do I even belong?
Make a mess of my life
humiliation and strife.
Can\'t seem to scratch this itch - with the sharpest knife.
What will it take
to just be okay?
No extravagance necessary
I just want peace. And ease.
Maybe there
I\'ll feel safe enough to release.
But when I\'m fighting to live.
Breathe in these holes that I dig.
When no one can save me but me.
When will I learn - freedom
comes with the burn
to who I pretended to be
comes with the return
of who I was intended to be.
~Ruby L.S.~