i’ve been waitin’ on your soul to intertwine with mine, since then i haven’t been fine.
look at the epicenter of my chest, my heartbeat is so slow when i drink and dine alone.
hindsight, i shoulda known that drinking was the only way to escape the mental.
lights are so pretty when they blur and my stomach hurts when it churns the liquor like butter.
those words i should have uttered to you lie still, in their agonizing death, on the pages.
don’t find me because i’ve been faded for too long now, bottles form walls around me.
love only exists in a liquid form, for physical love is a form of illusion to me, you ruined it.
inform me about my problems, about how i should die, but you know i don’t listen.
now tears glisten in the window moonlight with late-night nostalgia about our fights.
recordings of my pain sent to you, but my solace left in white lace and a made-up face.
seeing you again and again in my blacked-out state, you were my unsolved case.
on the floor, busch and i back together for a reunion of crying and miserable lying.
putting my sobriety on god, but i haven’t gone to church since grandma was dying.
i see you around and i hope you know i’ve been trying to repair my damaged soul.
i hated our goodbye if there even was one, one text and time went still on my watch.
driving to liquor store to pour more in my cottonmouth, days lying in glass and smoke.
vending machine purchases because what’s one more candy bar, just empty calories.
fuck my body, friends tellin’ me you never loved me, was it because of my skin?
shotty, we were so cute together…shotty pointed at my face and should i make an ugly mess?
either i’m thicker or thinner, maybe for lent, i should give up on my life and leave.
open my soul for a reaping because all i do is drink and sit in the past that never bears fruit.
decaying slowly in the grass and eventually i’ll be forgotten in an unmarked grave.
recycle me with all the beer bottles and aluminum cans, make something new to live.
make something that has a chance to love and grow with someone so special.
maybe then i’ll be free from this world, and i can rest for eternity without the pain.
little lady, you don’t miss me… i do but you will never hear my echoes from hell.
i screamed in the empty cans, you should open them to reveal the shell of your lover.
pissing drunk in the forest and i can’t escape the thicket, all i hear are the crickets.
i miss it, being loved by someone who isn’t a damn drink, i need a shrink and a pill.