I dont want to die.
But im at that moment.
Where im hanging by the last thread.
But in public im perfect.
And at home.
I sit on the bathroom floor.
With tears rolling down my face.
Just after cutting my thoughts away.
My search history is the same
Anxiety, depression.
Or am i insane?
Because my parents dont see
Im not that same little girl
After they\'ve hurt me
I dont speak out
Becuase i dont want to be judged
So how do i get help
When i dont feel loved?
So that blood on my wrist
Is just to take me away
From the reality i HAVE to live everyday.
Its not attention seeking.
Im not making people stare at me this way.
But something inside of me has changed
To make myself look at me this way.
I dont do it for the thrill
I dont do it to say i have
I do it to try to take my tears away.
I know i need help
But how can i get it
When i havent got what i need
To get myself through this
If i look in the mirror
The scars on my thighs stare back at me
How am i supposed to escape my reality?
If i tell people will i be believed?
Because they are MY parents
They\'re supposed to love me
So if i stay silent
And lurk in the shadows
I wont be accused of lying
I wont be told im attention seeking
If i have to hurt myself
To keep myself alive.
Then there is simply something wrong in my life
I dont want your sympathy
I dont want your tears
I want a family who love me
And someone to help me.
Just because i hurt myself
Or loose a little steam
Doesnt mean i deserve to be neglected as a teen
So if i ask for help
Please please listen to me
Dont turn me away
Dont say no to me
Because im a child
And ive hurt me
Ive scars all over my body
Reminding me of me
So remember one thing
That blood on my wrist.
Is just to take me away.
From the reality I HAVE to live everyday