When I’m old and knackered and all my body parts
have fallen into disrepair, need regular jump starts
If my eyes can’t see and I can’t hear what you say
don’t force feed me with remedies, just help me on my way
My poor old mum’s been poorly, in fact she had a fall
we called the ambulance and she’s gone to hospital
The ward is so depressing, nurse does what she can
but it’s not for me, in fact I’ve got a slick and better plan
I don’t see what the point is, why keep the old and sick
dosed up to the eyeballs – it just defies logic
When I decide I’ve had enough, the time is right for me
I want the right to end my life at home with dignity
If, or when, I get there, it’s possible I’ll find
I lose my nerve, melt down - in a panic change my mind
I said I never wanted a burden to become
but when it’s time to do the deed, I may well up and run
I do hear what you’re saying though, there should be laws in place
to protect the weak and vulnerable, you know, just in case
Apparently some people are mean and calculating
they might put pressure on if you start procrastinating
But it really gets my goat, it just doesn’t make much sense
when the world is overflowing but it’s a criminal offence
To top yourself, ie, reduce the population by one
if all your bits have jacked it in and you can’t have any fun
I don’t see what the difference is, I’m sure you will agree
when animals are ill we call the vet to set them free
So why should I be forced to travel all the way
to Switzerland for goodness sake to send me on my way
It’s a crazy situation, it really seems absurd
that do-gooders and Nanny State should have the final word
Principles and morals are the luxuries they voice
I’m fighting for the freedom just to have the bloody choice!
I’ve signed all the petitions, the euthanasia campaign
I go out on the rallies in the wind, the snow and rain
I don’t know why we bother though, we don’t get very far
but we can’t give in, we’ve got to fight – this is our last hurrah!
Just throw a leaving party and give me lots to eat
a hug goodbye and lots of love, my life has been complete
A dose of something lethal washed down with g and t
or maybe just a biscuit and a final cup of tea!