The first time I drank alcohol
I saw my father
Until I looked into a mirror
And what I saw was me
So I drank, and I drank, and I drank
Until what I saw in my reflection was him
Until when I looked in my hands, he was holding mine
Until his words came from my mouth
And his smile, my eyes
The first time, I did not drink alcohol
I saw myself
Until I looked into a mirror
And he was looking at me
So I did not drink. I did not drink. I did not drink
Until what I saw in my reflection was me
Until I could look at my hands
And I saw where I started and where he ends
Until I could say what I meant
And my smile lay on my mouth
And my eyes were my own
The first time I learnt that similar does not mean absolutely
I closed my eyes
I told my dad goodnight
Just because we are similar does not mean we are the same
I hear you sigh in relief
And say
You were never meant to follow me to the grave