My anxiety isn’t like most people
Instead of shutting down and staying quiet
I talk out of anxiousness and fear
Fear of the awkward silence that fills the room
Yet oddly enough my anxiety can go away
If the conversation flows and strays the way I’m comfortable then I’m not really complaining
However I suppose the anxiety turns over to worrying if I’ll say something embarrassing or offensive by accident
I try to put meanings in my words to keep the talk interesting and fun
Let’s just hope I’m not boring you
Are you enjoying the conversation we’re having right now or would you prefer to talk to someone else?
I hope this is okay
The after party of the conversation is more pitiful
I stress and replay the words in my head, criticizing myself and wishing I said differently
But the more thought I put into it,
The more I realise it doesn’t necessarily matter
Conversations can be fun, sad, awkward
Conversations don’t have to always go your way
I guess I can thank my anxiety
For providing me with a variety of conversations