There are some days
Where I grip the sheets harder than normal
And feel my skin more frequently
And dart my eyes around the room in panic
And almost feel trapped
Like I did on that day
Calling out for help
Begging for an ending
To this panic
This pain
The agony
It lingers
After all this time
Like an open wound
That doesn’t disappear
It holds control
I fear
That one day
I will see you again
Your orange hair
And the thousands of freckles on your face
And that childish smile
I fear everyone that looks like you from behind
I can feel my heart drop
Even when the same brand of car drives past me
There\'s a thought in the back of my head
That maybe
You are near me
And I don\'t even know it
And I wonder
What it would be like
If I used a bit my force
My doubtful strength
And maybe yelled louder
So the cries for help could be heard
Just maybe you wouldn’t be everywhere
And peace would be normal
And wishfully
I’d be set free.