slowly repeating the cycles of depression
my mind keeping my feelings locked up
this is prison
I’m not making bail
or getting out on parole
I never got offered a plea deal
instead, I got bipolar disorder
and hallucinations I cannot control
I get pills instead of meals
and a blanket of uncontrollable anger
with a pillow of sadness to pair
if I’m lucky, a shower of happiness will turn on for an hour
just in time for me to do my hair.
my prison isn’t fun.
I think the only way out of my sentence is the death penalty for my suicidal thoughts to become actions.
but then again there is no end.
my sentence is this silent spiral.
to suffer and pretend to be alright.
I’m a 17-year-old girl who hides her true identity from this site,
but why?
in fear of being recognized?
in fear of being ostracized?
in fear of the spiral becoming real
and then I’d have to face the fears I hide from in real life?
Yeah, right….
I’m not fine.